I get on my sketchbook first thing in the morning

Artwork by Connor

Hi, my name is Connor, I am 21 years old, I was born in Australia, I’m a Saggitarius, and I have Autism Spectrum Disorder (High-Functioning)

Art has always had an important place in my life, I’m not that good at communicating with people, not very good at expressing my feelings with spoken words, I suffer from a lot of crippling social anxiety, only reason I feel comfortable writing this is that I’m imagining nobody else has or will read it.

So art has always been one of the only ways to express myself, release emotions, talk to people without having to talk to them, I’m well-read enough to write my feelings but it doesn’t make me feel better the same way drawing does.

I get on my sketchbook first thing in the morning and I’m on it for so long that I usually forget breakfast, and the day usually passes me by.

My challenges are numerous, but all of them affect me strongly, I’ll try to talk about them as best I can: I don’t have much money for good supplies, I’m still unsure of how to use some mediums, I don’t have a good enough understanding of any practical art theory, and also being autistic; I have dyspraxia, which means my fine motor skills and coordination can be pretty dodgy and inefficient, and most times I have a great visual idea; I can’t properly put it on paper.

I really just want to learn how to be better than I am; I love making art but I feel stuck, like my work is never going to get better, I want to improve across the board; colour theory, shading, shapes, composition, perspective, rhythm, details, style and how to work with other mediums like paintbrushes. At the moment I’m only good with pencils but I want to use other mediums without making a mess of them every time.

I want to be able to keep enjoying creating art, and expressing myself with it, But I would like to do it with better techniques and aesthetic.
As I’ve said; my main issue is putting it to paper. I feel like my conceptualization and mental image of what I’m trying to say are strong, but physically creating it never turns out the way I hoped.

I just feel like I practice over and over again but never get anywhere, and it can be really hard on my self-worth, I keep having high hopes that I’m going to improve but I don’t, it just makes me upset.

And I feel like if I don’t get better; I’ll only get worse, and I don’t want to lose the skill I have left. I usually find that drawing relaxes me when I’m stressed, I used to doodle across worksheets back in school, and I still draw a lot, but when I compare myself to other artists with superior skills; I feel like a loser.

I always thought practicing more would eventually make me better but I realized I was practicing the wrong way, not much use practicing if nobody can provide feedback or guidance.

So I enrolled in several art classes, hoping to gain skills and knowledge, but I had no such luck.

The majority of Art class in high school was talking about the personal lives of artists, not their techniques or movements, and even though there was a practical side to it; no useful feedback was ever provided, just grades.

Art class in university solely focused on Dadaism and nothing to do with techniques or practicality at all, and after several funding cuts; the course itself became a Radio Production Unit and did away with art entirely the next year.

I also tried art therapy but there wasn’t any guidance there either, the therapist would mostly just sit in the background for 20 minutes while I tried to create something and would ask me what it was about at the end.

But in time; I discovered this website and course, Old Master’s Academy, and I haven’t really been able to afford any of the courses but they all look brilliant, and I like the fact that we can have feedback on our work, it just looks very promising. I subscribed to the Email and I really like the look of it.

I feel like there are a lot of people besides me who deserve to win, and I wish them the best of luck, I am still happy if somebody else won this opportunity.

To be brief; I would like to win because I want to improve at art, this place seems like it has the best advice but I can’t possibly afford it. Money is pretty tight at the moment, I would really love to have access to this course.

Whether you want to vote for me or not is up to you, But I will be eternally grateful if your vote helps me win this opportunity. Thank you.

P.S. sorry if the artworks I chose to submit upset anybody. One should hopefully be a rough sketch based on a high school doodle and the other is an unfinished attempt at a master copy